Who put my life in the washing machine!?!

For someone who has always been deathly afraid of even the smallest of alterations in her life, I think I am handling the constant change of life in Australia quite well. Over the past month, I have acquired 3 seperate jobs and been let go from one (the Share Market College - 1 month and 2000 dollars later, they decided they were downsizing and sent me packing.) I diligently looked for work and ended up finding another job within a few days right next door with another finance company. Still Telemarketing (she says while preparing her toaster bath) but its a much bigger call centre (20 some people) and the atmosphere is a lot more fun! There is a ping pong table, vending machines and Saul! The most hilarious manager I've ever had. He had us rolling on the floor in our orientation, so I hope he will provide me with many months entertainment. I am on a trial period at the moment, so have to get at least 1 appointment out in the first 3 days... It's day 2 and still no luck. It seems as though the people in Adelaide are even more pissy then the ones in Brisbane!!! I actually had a woman answer the phone and say (no hello or anything):"I don't mean to be rude, but Fuck Off!" ... (Gasp) Oh welll, I reckon, if nothing else, being rejected 253 times per day is a sure fire way to grow a thick skin! (Although, I did almost start crying at the bank today because they couldn't put my credit card payment through so maybe I should be questioning that theory!) In other news, I have given my two weeks notice to my current landlord (aka the toilet paper Nazi) and will be moving to Kangaroo Point next weekend. It's a ferry ride everyday to and from work, but the apartment has a pool, sauna, gym and hottub and I'll have my own room so I think it will be well worth the extra 40 something bucks a week. It's probably for the best anyways, as my next door neighbor, Ricardo (also the guy I've been seeing for 2 months) and I have decided to go our seperate ways. I will miss him very much as he was a constant companion, as he was extremely kind and took very good care of me. Alas, some things are not meant to be. Anyways, just a quick update today, but I'm sure I'll have more in store in the next week. Until then, goodnight mom and Caitlin (and whoever else is following this blog) lol!

The Master....

When I first arrived in Brisbane, there were two pressing questions I had to ask myself. One, where am I going to work? and two, where am I going to live?! Now, as you can see from my previous post, the latter is the question I am inclined to discuss on this occasion. As luck would have it, my good friend Ricardo who is studying English in Brisbane invited me to stay at his house for a few weeks to get myself sorted. I wholeheartedly accepted, and, without further ado, moved in, feeling like a crab with a new shell! I met his housemates, 3 Koreans with very limited English, and started to roam freely through the small complex. Over the next few days, I noticed a subtle change in Ricardo, but was so pleased to have hangers that I turned a blind eye to his nervous sweating and mutterings about his ¨master¨ finding out. Finally, on a pleasant Sunday afternoon, after Ricardo suggested I spend the night in the park reading rather then at the house, I asked him what the hell was going on. ¨My master does not allow women to sleep in the house..¨ was his reply. ¨Your Master?¨ Erk! ¨Who, or WHAT, might I ask is your master?! I barked, incredulous. ¨The man who keep the house!¨ He replied indignantly. ¨You mean the landlord?¨ I asked. ¨No, the master. The landlord?! What is this? A king?¨ To make a long story short (snicker) I discovered Ricardo's landlord - Jun - was not keen on me staying with him but did in fact have a room available in the house next door. Hmmmmm... I established, after further inspection, that this room was no more then a spare living room, converted into a bedroom with the help of 3 cubicle style walls no more then chest high. WANTED: One single bedroom. Must have excellent view of kitchen when standing. No walls or door required!! For reasons now unbenownst to me, I moved in the next day, paying 11o dollars a week. So far, and I'm being generous, my living situation has been undesirable. I live with 4 Koreans and 3 Taiwanese, all of whom treat me as if I am a giant hippopotamus trundling through their quarters unannounced. They are very particular about their things as well. I found this out the hard way after, finding the dispenser bare, I dug around under the sink for a roll of toilet paper and replenished it. The next day, upon entering the bathroom, I noticed the roll had been removed and in its place was a big ENGLISH sign which read: Please do NOT touch the others things which do NOT belong to you! The nerve! To make matters worse, I encountered my first cockroach under the sink the other day! He was clinging to a pot that I pulled from the cupboard and, before I had a chance to think ¨AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!,¨ he scurried round the handle and somersaulted violently through the air, along with the pot, into the sink. I proceeded to lurch around the kitchen, shuddering, ringing my hands and making guttural noises. I wanted to run from the room screaming and ripping at my hair but, with images of him creeping onto my pillow that night, I edged back to the sink, turned on the water, and standing as far back as I could, lifted the pot and peered beneath it. Then like a horror movie I saw his antennae emerge along the rim of the sink, as he scurried to the underbelly of the microwave. Man those suckers are FAST!! I can't say how long I stood, poised over the counter brandishing the flat end of that pot. 10 minutes. 2o maybe. Finally, he meandered out and I smashed the pot down on him. It took him several forceful blows to the head to die. I am still recovering. To add insult to injury, my landlord, after I have repeatedly asked him not to, continues to cook rice at 11 oclock at night. This wouldn't be such a big deal except for the rice cooker howls like a wolf in heat and keeps me awake until well after midnight! Sooooo... After a sauna, jacuzzi and pool session with my friend Dani last night, I am on the verge of reopening the ¨Where am I going to live?¨ question. Keep following to find out where I end up next!

The Land of Oy! - Employment Abroad!

Today is my first day as a bonafide blogger so forgive me if this post is a little bit rusty... or rusted right through for that matter. I should have started this blog from the day I landed in the not so red center of Australia at Sydney's Kingsford Smith Airport. I have traveled over 6000 undocumented miles along the eastern coast of Australia, by car, ferry, plane and train (sometimes all in the same day - ok, maybe that was just ONE day, but still - very impressive!) and it's high time I started sharing my experiences with someone other then the drunk pensioner at the pub down the road. I suppose the best place for me to start with is life in Brisbane. The present. After many days of job hunting, soul searching, weeping in a ball on the floor, I found not one, but TWO new jobs. The first being a bartending/event coordinator job at STRIKE! bowling alley. At least that's how it will read on my resume! I work mainly Thursday and Friday nights, bartending and running the lanes, and most Saturday mornings, running childrens birthday packages. Last week I ran two parties. The first was 12 out of control 6 year old boys (picture Lord of the Flies) who, lacking spears and a hog to chase, took turns tormenting me and the birthday boys mother simultaneously. Fortunately for me, the party died down significantly when a fat little asian boy who refused to stop dancing with his bowling ball over his head let slip the weighty sphere onto the head of the boy behind him. Gummy worm privileges were immediately revoked and the boys sent to seperate corners to stew. ha! The second party rolled in 15 minutes after the first departed, and I welcomed them with a gruff hello and a sour smile. They were a group of 25 ten year olds spread out over 4 lanes. I battened down the hatches and prepared for the worst but, much to my surprise and subsequent delight, they ended up being quite lovely. Imagine caring for 25 turtles after being mauled by 12 over excited puppies. Bliss! My second, and far less awesome job, is in telesales/customer liaison. Ahem. AKA telemarketer extraordinaire. I hate the job with every fibre of my being. I will introduce you to my coworkers, as they will no doubt appear further along in my posts. Directly in front of me sits the petulent JD - or Jeedong - as he likes to call himself... I prefer Le Dong. He is obnoxiously arrogant and would run screaming from anyone brandishing a pin, for fear his giant inflated head might be popped, forcing him to come back down to earth. Across from him sits Kathy, the mad hatter, a large, red faced lady with witchy hair and a tendency to mutter ¨fucking, fucking, fucking¨ under her breath for no good reason. Behind her the lovely Dani, an English bird who rolls her eyes almost as much as I do (we've become fast friends as a result) and to her side our dysfunctional team leader, Narelle. Pinch your noise and say ¨oooooo lovely¨ really loudly and you will understand what I have to sit next to all day. Now that I have you up to speed, somewhat, on my current employment situation, I will bid you adieu!! I work all day (from 8 am to 2 am) tomorrow so no posts until maybe Saturday or Sunday. Hopefully you can last until then! But for now, since my eyelids have given up on life, I will bid you adieu!